You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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