I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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