trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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