i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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