"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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