Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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