Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
