sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
