Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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