I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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