Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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