my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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