I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize