the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
