I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
