I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
