No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
