My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
