i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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