its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
