Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
