Michael Bay diarrhea
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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