Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
