omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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