I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
