So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
