I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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