I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
