Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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