id be glad to
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
