Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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