with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
