I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
