so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
