On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
