At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
