so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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