I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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