The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
zippers are such a cool invention
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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