its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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