How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
