I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
