My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just pee around me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
