Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
well you can't waste a boner
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
