if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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