last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
