you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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