Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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