somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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