I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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