That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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