I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
