After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
