i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
