No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
