need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
