The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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