Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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