but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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