wake up i wanna do it froggy style
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
