You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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